As a new King has now been crowned and the third Carolian era begins, much has been happening at the hallowed links of Evesham Golf Course and beyond.
April and May have seen groups of the grumbling posse of posing players depart to spread their joy and good will to various parts of the world. With clubs in tow, the Lenches Section crossed the border from the Lenches enclave to depart to Spain for much carousing in celebration of TH and the Silver Foxes nuptials. We are advised Interpol remains interested in the gang’s goings on but I am sure charges will not be forthcoming.
The rotund, vertically challenged Capitano was seen accompanying a motley gang of 12 to Turkey in celebration of Stato Harrisons 60th Birthday. Actually, in Stato style it was 60 years, 126 days, 4 hours and 3 minutes since he popped out in his Leicester shirt.
We hear that much hilarity was had when big Dicky Dyde fluffed 3 shots on the 10th in full view of a gang of inebriated cheering Scots (very brave). Needless to say, the cheer accompanying his 4th shot of 198 metres was heard reverberating around the course. Thankfully a major diplomatic incident was also averted when the pouting hunk of manhood El Secretariat changed his Erdogan posing pouch on the beach after questions about his political bias, and whether he hung to the left or right.
But back to the home of grumbling. And yes, Evesham GC hit the national media with nonagenarian Derek Jackson scoring a fantastic hole in 1 and in the process cementing himself in the club’s legacy. With his newly appointed agent Al -Fayed in control (25% is a fair cut) he more than earned his commission with local and then national press coverage galore. The pinnacle of which was BBC Midlands Weather presenter Shefali Oza joining the cheering Thursday Fiddlers on the patio for a cuddle with the Chef, and lips with the Smurf. Thankfully our ethereal Charmain Andy S was on hand to save the club from any further embarrassment as the lager drinking mob closed in on our famous guest. Needless to say, Al Fayed continues to do his best for his client with his brand-new range of “Shefali was ere” branded shirts, shorts, and head covers now on sale.
But what of the Golf? The Fladbury Links Order of Merit finally got under way after the 1st event was cancelled due to rain of biblical proportions. As Noah sailed past the club house, the decision was taken to abandon and, as the Nightingales whinged, sorry winged their way around the course, the much-anticipated event was re-scheduled. With the 1st two events now complete the early lead has been secured by the former Rambo of the Rowing Club, Speaky Clean. Watch this space for the next update. Finally, our commiseration to Hinge of Hinge and Bracket Higgo who, finding himself 8 bits down after 6 holes when playing against the pro Dan, was seriously concerned where his next Carling money would come from. Thankfully we hear things marginally improved and the sigh of relief from the Trumpet could be audibly heard around the course.
And finally in true Question of Sport style a picture of a mysterious person scrambling about on the patio has reached your correspondent. Is it Al Fayad searching for lost tees to re-sell in his emporium, or our very own Chairman desperately seeking a fiver to put in the lecky meter? Answers on a post card to www.cleanupyourmess.com
Tune in next time for more Grumblings from the Gazebo